My back feels like my heart is in it.

I swear i'm not hallucinating, as I sit here staring. Yes staring at my stark white wash wall leaning on the leather couch, I felt something beating in my back. Humping pumping whatever it's called, I can feel it in my lower back. I told ma it feels like i'm sprouting wings. God i'm paranoid.

I was supposed to be taken to the hospital yesterday after work but as soon as my head touched the pillow, I feel asleep and woke up at 10 this morning. The pain isn't bad as yesterday, but it is there. Lingering.

I'm a junkie.
I was shocked on the number of pills that accumulated in my drawer. No wonder my kidney gave up on me.

Xenical is expensive. I gave it away. I'd rather be alive and fat than thin and dead. Goodbye slimming pills and laxative teas. You are never going to purge my systems inside out ever again.